5 Foods That Everyone Agrees On

I have a confession to make, I don't take pride in it, and I certainly don't expect any pity, but i've been an incredibly picky eater all my life, I try new things here and now, but I started out not even thinking chicken wings were good  D:

Get that spoon out of my mouth before I break your face

In my experience as a picky eater, I have learned a couple things though:




1. Everyone wants to tell you how much you're missing out on the food they like to eat. It's not enough I have to watch everyone enjoying food I hate, they have to verbally remind me of my deficiency.

"You're Missing Out On Cabbage & Beans"

2. Avoid Eating at people's houses when it's going to be a surprise what they make, because you might not like it and they will hate you for not eating their food.

You don't like my food???

In light of number two, here is a list of food that everyone, particularly me, enjoys.

Pictured: Food of the Gods

5. Pizza

Pizza is one of those things that could possibly bring peace to the middle east if everyone had a slice. If I ever met a person that didn't enjoy pizza I would have a very hard time trusting that person, as it would indicate they have no taste in anything.

Have you ever noticed some people will just devour pizza like the slice is going to vaporize? It's like they have to have a whole box to themselves, like what the heck yo? Save some for everyone else.

This is an actual hamburger

4. Hamburgers

Have you ever met someone that didn't like hamburgers? I bet they were some grubby little kid with kool aid stains on their shirt.

Hamburgers are for everyone, unlike Trix, which are only for kids, discriminating little brats. Heck, I still eat trix though, even though somehow I feel dirty doing it. It feels like I'm stealing from kids in africa knowing that I'm depriving some little runt a box of Trix. What if I cause a Trix shortage in America by throwing off the balance of kids to adults eating Trix, Soon they are going to start regulating it heavily.When  are they going to start asking for ID's to buy Trix? We don't know, but if they'll strip rape you at the airport, asking for ID's to buy food is the logical next step.

A whole box of civil rights violations

Back to the subject of hamburgers, you ever wondered how it is that when you cook a hamburger on the grill yourself, it tastes NOTHING like the hamburgers at any of the fastfood restaurants?

What the heck are they putting in there? Even though I love a good old number 1 at McDonalds, you cannot tell me that it tastes like natural beef. McDonalds beef is like the equivalent of cocaine after it's been cut(had baking soda or other powders added) by three different dealers to maximize profits.

But then you tell yourself you want a good old homemade hamburgers, and decide to fry one up yourself. For some reason making homemade hamburgers is just never as appetizing as McDonalds, half the people that think they can cook hamburgers end up overcooking it, so all the flavor is gone, or they use some weird, ghetto beef and it turns out all nasty.

3. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Ahh grilled cheese sandwiches, there's not a whole lot to say about them, besides that they are delicious. Toasted, buttery, artery clogging bread, stacked with several different types of cheese, is not only a recipe for impotence, but it's also one darn good sandwich.

The only thing that ruins a Grilled Cheese Sandwich, is when health nuts skimp out on the cheese, or try to make it with some weird freaking nut bread.

Why do health nuts have to ruin all food? C'mon, is that extra year you'll add onto your life really worth missing out on all the great, unhealthy food out there?

On that same note, cancer isn't even that bad, everyone should start smoking if you want to look cool, else wise you're a loser, everyone knows that!

2. Lasagna

Out of all the items on this list, lasagna definitely has to be my favorite, when I hear someone is having lasagna at their house, I don't even wait for an invitation, I just show up and dig in, then leave.

It's easier not to have to talk to people after stealing a couple plates of lasagna, I just want to sit there and let my body absorb the fat that I just consumed, and forget about the idiots I just screwed out of their lasagna.

The one thing I don't like about lasagna on occasions is when whoever's preparing the lasagna decides to smother it in ricotta cheese, if you're one of these people, stick to Stoeffers man, they make a mean lasagna and it's perfect, we don't need you mucking it up or trying to make it healthier by using a different kind of sauce.

1. Garlic French Bread

French bread is the last on this list, but can we be honest? It's the first thing that goes into most people's mouths when this side dish is served. The french have never really done anything worthwhile, EXCEPT make french bread, and I think it almost makes up for their otherwise useless existences.

French bread is so good we even try to Americanize it, by calling it things like Texas toast. Nobody in texas has progressed beyond beans and a steak, so don't try to take credit for something the french thought up. Even though if you do the french probably won't do anything about it. It's your call!

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