5 Most Annoying Things About Taking The Bus

5 Most annoying things about taking the bus

I haven't always driven the luxury coupe I drive now(a souped up 1994 mitsubishi mirage, nah just kidding, it's a piece of garbage). I used to take the bus a couple of years ago, and the memory still lingers.

Taking the bus is kind of like riding a bike, you never forget it, and you feel like it leaves a permanent indent on your butt.

Here are the 5 most annoying things(in my opinion) about the bus

5. The Waiting

"You were 5 minutes late you chauvinist prick!"

I don't know about where you live, but where I live, the bus runs every half an hour on the weekdays, and every hour on the weekends.

You can basically bet that it will take you at least an hour to get anywhere even if  that place is only 15 minutes in a car, on the weekends you can count on it doubling,  as a matter of fact, don't count on anything on the weekends, just count on it taking a LONG time.

The most frustrating thing is when you are on one bus, and you have to transfer to another bus, and they just happen to run like 2 minutes apart from eachother. This means if you your bus driver is two minutes late, you will have to wait another half an hour to catch the second bus.

4. The Uncomfortable Eye Contact

"Quit looking at me before I slap a hoe!"

Eye contact on the bus is crazy, nobody wants to make eye contact except for that weird creep in the corner. It's like you feel so much like a sardine that the only shred of privacy you have left is your very soul. Remember how the Chinese said the eyes are the windows to the soul?

Here's how it works on the bus:

You are sitting in your seat, someone sits across from you, okay no problem, you look to the left of them, on the next stop someone sits in the seat you were looking towards, no problem you- wait, theres that creepy guy, now you look up at the advertisements and pretend to be mesmerized.

This is the reason why, when I used to take the bus(I Upgraded to a hoopti), I would try to sit in the back where the seats face forward, all you have to worry about then, is someone sitting next to you.

That brings us to...

3. Having to sit next to people

"Oh you don't like my whole body pressed up against you?"

It seems like buses are designed to facilitate as much unwanted physical contact as possible. 

You can be sitting next to someone and they will take up as much space as physically possible, knowing full well that you will move to avoid phsycal contact. They spread their legs just enough so that their leg is touching yours, you'll move, and then the cycle continues, until you are literally cross legged.

Then you've got the times when you are sitting all alone, enjoying your personal space, there are plenty of other seats on the bus, but some drunk homeless guy will get on and sit right next to you.

You can smell the beer stains on his shirt, and you wanna move, but fear you'll induce his drunk rage. All you can do in this circumstance is hope he doesnt start a conversation with you, which brings us to...

2. When People Talk To You

This should be required to wear on a bus.

I know I'm coming off as a rather unsociable dude here, and maybe there are people out there that just THRIVE on the bus culture, but I am not one of them.

The reason I love having a car is because you can get to where you are going, and your car wont say one word to you, you can completely zone out in your own little world(while still paying attention to the road of course).

On the bus people are GOING to talk to you, and it usually is not an interesting conversation. usually it involves small talk, which is another thing I absolutely hate.

Small talk is where everyone pretends to want to talk to one another, but it is usually just used to fill up awkward silence, to the point where you might as well not have said anything at all, and you would have done more communicating.

It usually goes like this:

Them: "Nice weather huh?"

Me: "Oh Yeah! Lovin it"

(Try to say nothing else to end the conversation)

Them: "How about those cardinals man?"

Me: "I don't really keep up with sports, sorry"

(Continues in a vicious cycle for the whole bus ride)

I'm not gonna say I've NEVER had a good conversation on the bus, but it is rare, usually I avoid bus conversation like the plague.

1. The Smells

Pictured: The Source of your nausea

The smells on the bus are a frangrance all their own, a mix of several different sources that all blend in to create something I refer to as bus stench.

Bus stynch is similar to stripper smell, in the fact that it gets all over you, and eventually you learn to ignore it.

It's a mix of weed, cigarettes, booze, bodily fluids, excretions, BO, unwashed clothes, and the list goes on.

Basically if Ke$ha made a perfume, bus stench is probably what it would smell like, only bus stench at least has some form of dignity attached to it.

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